timewise

I'm afraid that my faith in age has faltered somewhat as I have begun to accumulate years with a seemingly increasing speed. I come across old people who act very young, and young people who act very old. I think that I, like most people, am somewhere in between the two, and often both at once. What then, if not time, can be used as a measuring stick for all that composes the life of a person? I've heard several postulates, but I have to admit that one of my favorites is application of the knowledge accrued—wisdom. I hope that I am more wise now than I was twelve months ago. Trouble is, unlike time, wisdom is harder to measure, so I can't tell exactly how old I am.

pretend

i'm starting to think that i'm never going to feel as old as i am. more and more, i feel like, one day, someone's going to catch me playing pretend in a world where i don't really belong. i pretend to work, to go to school, to be responsible, but one day the dress-up clothes are going to going to fall off and i'll be caught wearing an over-sized pair of high heals and my mother's lipstick.
i know that i'm not the only one that feels like this. i can't be. so where do i learn to pretend better? how do i learn to grow-up?